The masturbation scene with Kelly was GREAT! I mean, I knew where it was going, but the way you got there was a nice touch - thoughts of her deceased husband hijacked by thoughts of the young thug. I was caught by surprise by the bold way Tommy approached Daryl, and the way he spoke to him.
I thought he could kind of buddy up to him and be nice to him, and them develop a sort of awkward friendship, based on the benefits Daryl is going to get from Kelly. Kind of a big brother type scenario, where he becomes his protector. But, not my story - it's yours.
If you don't mind me suggesting, read some of DeeAnna's build ups - she is an expert at creating scenes and making you feel like you have a front row seat, as she describes what the woman is feeling.
darkwanderer.net
Just a suggestions. Not highlighting her just because I was part of her "stories", and she is my wife; but I have had many, many men tell me how her writing made them feel like they were there.
Please continue with the story!!!
I thought he could kind of buddy up to him and be nice to him, and them develop a sort of awkward friendship, based on the benefits Daryl is going to get from Kelly. Kind of a big brother type scenario, where he becomes his protector. But, not my story - it's yours.
If you don't mind me suggesting, read some of DeeAnna's build ups - she is an expert at creating scenes and making you feel like you have a front row seat, as she describes what the woman is feeling.
Search results
darkwanderer.net
Please continue with the story!!!
thanks again for the review