I’d always been pro-choice. As a man, I’d constantly supported a woman’s right to decide what happens to her own body. But believe me; my values were tested to the core when Olivia became pregnant. Ultimately, I learned that a “woman’s right to choose” means a woman’s right to do whatever the fuck she wants - regardless of her partner’s wishes.
My name’s Dan, and although politically liberal, I’d always been somewhat straight-laced. My ambition had always been to start a ******. I’ve always loved kids and hoped to have three or four. I was sure I’d make a great ***. Between you and me, I also found pregnancy to be extremely sexy. I loved how a woman’s body changes as the baby grows - the swollen breasts, flushed skin and curvy tummy. I even used to watch online porn featuring pregnant women, such was my fetish.
Following my graduation I’d landed a job as a high school teacher in Philly, working in a tough inner city school. The money wasn’t great but I mostly got on well with the kids. Overall, I guess, life was good. I was in my early 20’s and had my whole life ahead of me. All I needed was to meet the right woman.
Before I started seeing Olivia I was active on the Philly dating scene. However, none of the women I dated were interested in starting a ****** – either they already had kids or didn’t want them at all. Although I had plenty of dates, I’d found some of my hookups to be quite overwhelming.
Traditionally, men are supposed to be the sexual aggressors, right? But on more than one occasion it was my date who took the lead, brazenly grabbing my crotch under the table or stripping naked in my apartment without being invited, simply wanting to get down to the sex. I guess some men would enjoy that kind of behavior, but if I’m honest I find sexually aggressive women a turn-off. Call me old fashioned, but I prefer soft kisses, cuddles and romance.
I’d originally dated Olivia when I was a student in Baltimore but we drifted apart before I moved to Philly. She was a beautiful Irish-Italian girl with large breasts, pretty wide eyes and a big ass. Olivia wasn’t outgoing, and had been meek and pretty submissive with me back then. She had told me more than once that she preferred “macho” men and ultimately wanted to be “knocked up” by a “big strong stud” as she put it. While not exactly muscular, I was tall and athletic, and I guess she was implying that I fitted the bill.
Olivia had wanted me to do some pretty extreme things in the sack, like spank her ass and pretend to choke her. I’m not naturally dominant, and didn’t enjoy that at all. I found it hard to enjoy her brand of sex, which was one of the reasons we drifted apart. After we split up, I heard through mutual friends that she’d spent a couple of years running with the wrong crowd, developed a drug problem and had to be bailed out of jail. I felt sorry for her more than anything.
Increasingly, though, after my unsuccessful Philly dates, I found my thoughts drifting back to Olivia, and her confession that she wanted to be made pregnant. So when I heard through mutual friends that she’d landed a job in Philly, I felt my heart leap. I'd be more than happy to give it another shot, I thought. Some friends of her parents had gotten her a receptionist’s job and she was living just five miles from me in Springfield. I’d kept Olivia’s number, and when I asked her for a date she accepted.
We hit it off well. She’d been seeing a guy called Leon in Baltimore, she told me, who was now serving time in Roxbury for drug offenses. She admitted that she’d had a torrid few years, developed a drug habit, and had been beaten by Leon and used by his gang friends. However, she insisted that she'd now turned her life around.
“I’m just glad to be away from all that” Olivia told me on our second date, on the terrace of a swanky riverside hotel. ”I just want to live a normal life and start a ******. Is that too much to ask Dan?” In the moonlight she looked radiant. I decided there and then that I wanted nothing more than for her to be the mother of my kids.
After four months of dating, it seemed crazy paying for two apartments, so I invited Olivia to move in with me. She did, and I was over the moon when she agreed to become my fiancé.
Things weren’t perfect, I admit. Olivia’s sexuality hadn’t changed. She still wanted me to act macho and dominant in the sack, to whap her ass with a belt, pinch her nipples and call her a “whore” and a “bitch” during sex. My heart wasn’t in it, but I what could I do? However, our sexual issues were forgotten one January weekend when Olivia announced she was pregnant. I was ecstatic. It’s no exaggeration to say it was the best day of my life.
“Fantastic news babe!” I said. “Just wow! I love you so much. I’m going to make you so happy, I promise”.
As the weeks went by, however, Olivia seemed moody and distant. She would ignore me, not respond to my questions and spend hours on her tablet. She’d gone off sex completely. I on the other hand, could think of nothing but the baby she was carrying. I bought a stroller, baby clothes, even diapers, and placed a cot in our small storeroom.
Then one day I came home from work and she was gone. Her clothes had gone too. Olivia had simply vanished. I was distraught. Where the fuck did she go, I asked myself? What did I do wrong? Not only did I love her, but she was carrying my baby. Surely that implied that she had some obligations to me. How could she just leave?
I was on the verge of calling the police when I received her text message. “Sorry Dan, I have got a lot of thinking to do, and can’t think straight at your place” it read. “I’m staying with friends for a while, but will be in touch” I wasn’t happy but what choice did I have?
First one week went by, the two, then three, but I heard nothing more from her. I got no response to my increasingly desperate text messages, and when I called her the line was dead. She must have changed her phone number, I surmised. Did she not want to see me at all? I simply couldn't understand. Had she had an abortion without speaking to me first? The thought almost drove me crazy.
Then the weeks became months. First two, then three months passed without me hearing a word from her. I had to take time off work I was so distraught. When I called her parents in Baltimore, they told me that they hadn’t had word from her either, though I didn't believe them.
It was quite by chance that I discovered that Olivia had moved back to Baltimore. She’d deleted me from Facebook but we had a couple of mutual friends including a girl called Maya. It was almost five months after Olivia vanished that I saw a series of photos posted by Maya of her and Olivia in a lounge called Lucky Seven Catonsville, Olivia looking hot and sexy in a tight dress. Gosh, she looked ravishing, I thought. And, I noted excitedly, she was undoubtedly pregnant. Olivia was still carrying my child!
I simply had to see her. The following Saturday I bought a big bunch of flowers and drove down to Baltimore. I checked into a hotel and walked the short distance to her parents' home, hoping they would give me her address. However, it was Olivia herself who answered the door. Her mouth opened wide when she saw me. She was obviously pregnant, and she looked shocked.
“Dan?” she said.
“I’m sorry babe, I really needed to see you” I said.
“These are for you” I said, handing her the flowers. “Please Olly, we need to talk”
“Oh god Dan, I’m sooo sorry" Olivia said. “I really don’t know what to say.”
“I apologize for not being in touch, I’ve just been so confused” Olivia continued. “I guess I’m not in a good place right now”.
“Oh Olly” I said. “You poor thing”.
“I know I’ve treated you badly Dan” Olivia said. “I’m not a good person. You must think I’m awful, and I guess I am. But I guess you deserve an explanation. Listen, can we meet tonight?”
We arranged to meet at 9pm in a local bar. I arrived at 8.30, unable to stay in my hotel room any longer. I’d taken a shower, dressed carefully and applied aftershave. Whatever she’d done, I thought, I was still willing to take her back. I needed another chance. I bought a couple of drinks, grabbed a table and awaited her arrival.
When Olivia walked into the bar she looked beautiful, flushed and sexy. Her pregnancy suited her well, I thought. Her breasts were large, but that evening they looked huge and swollen, with her peg-like, engorged nipples thrusting out through her cotton dress. Could she already be lactating, I wondered?
“Look Olivia, before you speak babe, I just need to tell you something” I said as she sat down. “Listen. You look absolutely beautiful, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You look like a real woman.”
“Aww you’re sweet Dan” Olivia said smiling. Her whole face lit up when she smiled. She was the archetypal “sexy mommy” if there ever was one, I thought.
“Just hear me out Olly, and then you can have your say, okay?” I said, pressing my hand against hers and giving it a squeeze.
“Uh…. okay Danny” Olivia said.
“First of all, I promise, I’m not mad with you” I squeezed her hand again. “I’m not angry with you at all, and I never will be”
“You know you have every right to be angry Dan,” Olivia said.
“Olivia, please know that I love you,” I continued. “I always will. Darling, I don’t care about what you’ve been doing in Baltimore, who you’ve been seeing. That’s not important. My main concern is you being happy. If you want me to support you, I will, and if you want me to support the kid, I will. I’ll change diapers, do the childcare, do the school runs, whatever you like. I’ll be here for you. But if you’d rather I stayed out of the way right now, well that’s fine too.”
Olivia just stared at me. She looked radiant.
“I’ll do anything Olly. I just don’t want you to vanish again” I said, trying to hold back tears.
“Oh Dan, you are sweet, you really are,” Olivia said.
“Olivia, listen, I know you had a really tough decision to make” I said. “It must have been hard for you. But you’re an intelligent girl and I’m sure you’ve made the right choice. But baby, please understand, I would have been happy with any choice you made. Even if you’d decided not to go through with the pregnancy, I’d still have stood by you.”
Olivia looked genuinely touched, and squeezed my hand
“Really Dan?” she said
“Yes really,” I said. “A woman should always have the final say when it comes to her own body. That should always be your choice, and no one else's. And no one should judge you because of your decision.”
“I’m so happy you said that Dan,” Olivia said. “I was worried at first, meeting you again, but I’d forgotten how sweet you are.”
“I’ll get more drinks first, then you can tell me what’s been happening these past months.” I said. “If you’ve been doing drugs again, hanging round with the wrong crowd, I won’t get angry, I promise. I’m here to help. I'll stand by you whatever's happened.”
“You’re so kind Dan,” Olivia said. " I don't deserve you"
I walked over to the bar where a big, muscular black man was sat nursing a beer.
“Hot bitch” he said, pointing to Olivia.
I ignored him
“Knocked up bitches, they still love to fuck” he said. "Aint that right".
I was shocked, unsure if I had heard him correctly. Hastily I returned to our table with our drinks.
“Okay honey” I said to Olivia. “I’m ready. Tell me everything. Tell me what’s been happening since you left”
Olivia crossed her sexy legs, took a sip of her drink, and began.
“Firstly, Dan, I like you a lot and I know you care absolutely tons for me too” she said. “I know you’re a kind, loving man and I appreciate all you have done for me. I’ve done some stupid things in my life but you’ve always been like a rock for me. You couldn’t have done more”
“Thanks babe” I said. “I do care, believe me.”
“Dan, I was really confused when I got pregnant,” Olivia said. “You know I really wanted a baby. I liked you a lot, really cared for you, but bearing your child, well that’s a different kind of commitment isn’t it?”
“Sure” I said. “It’s something else entirely. You're right there.”
”So I needed some time to think. You know, away from you” Olivia said. “I had a huge life choice to make”
“I understand babe” I said, placing my hand back on hers. “And I know you've made the right choice. I'm sure of it Olly. I couldn't be any more sure”
A long silence followed.
“So what happened when you left Philly?” I prompted
More silence followed. It was like Olivia was at a loss for words.
“Dan, do you remember Leon?” Olivia finally said
Did I remember Leon? Of course I did. He was Olivia’s mean ex boyfriend who was serving a five stretch in Roxbury the last I heard. I’d never met him, but according to the stories I’d heard from Olivia, he was a bully, a womanizer and a drug dealer.
“Er…yes, I remember you telling me about him” I said. "What about him?"
“Well, I didn’t tell you this, but he was released from prison around the time I got pregnant” Olivia said. “He’d been texting me asking to meet up. I was confused and vulnerable, and thought it would be good to open my heart to someone. Leon has anger management issues but he’s always been a friend to me. He offered to listen to me when I told him that I was having misgivings about the pregnancy.”
“Uh…what kind of misgivings?” I said. “In what way?”
“Well, I just wasn’t sure if you and I were right for each other,” Olivia said. “I knew about your weak genes and your lack of aggression, and I wasn’t sure that I wanted your baby.”
Previously, I recalled, I’d told Olivia about the cystic fibrosis gene that ran in our ******. I’d been tested for it and showed no signs of having the flaw, but the test wasn’t a hundred percent accurate. But I never thought that was an issue
“I’ve always been attracted to bad boys,” Olivia continued.”You know, strong, dominant men. It’s stupid, it’s self-destructive, but it’s also part of who I am. I can’t deny it Dan.”
What was she implying? That she didn’t think I was a strong man? I bit my lip, and reminded myself to let her speak.
“Leon told me that sometimes you need to listen to your inner feelings, listen to the instinctive voice in your head, because it’s usually the right one,” Olivia continued. “He told me that if having your baby didn’t feel right, then I shouldn’t see it through.”
I was genuinely confused. “So if that's what you thought, why did you choose to keep our baby?”
“OK Darren, I’m going to be completely honest with you now” Olivia said. “Remember, you said you'd support my choice and I respect you for that.”
I just sat there, staring at her, still confused.
“Well I ended up having sex with Leon that night, and the next morning we went to the clinic and had the baby terminated’ Olivia said.
I couldn’t speak. I was simply stunned. Had I heard her correctly?
But…but.... you can’t have. You’re still pregnant,” I finally stuttered
“Leon had been in jail for over three years” Olivia said. ‘That’s three years without a woman Dan. He said that he needed sex, either with me or someone else. And he offered to breed me if I got rid of your child.”
I stared at her.
“You know, make me pregnant again” Olivia said.
“Whaaat?" I said. "How? So….I don’t understand babe”
“Dan, you need to understand. I’m carrying Leon’s child, not yours,” Olivia said
I just stared at her open mouthed, making gulping sounds. How could it be possible?
“A woman can get pregnant within two weeks of a termination Dan, and that’s what happened with me” Olivia said. “It all depends on when you start ovulating again. It’s funny, I started ovulating the day after the termination, so Leon bred me through my fertile period and I missed my next cycle.”
Stunned, I simply stood up and without saying a word walked to the men’s restroom. Then I vomited in the sink. The fucking bitch….the fucking whore… How could she? I stared at my face in the mirror and splashed cold water in my face. How the FUCK could she?? How could the bitch coldly terminate my child, and then…and then…? She must be at least five months pregnant now, I guessed. The whore must have been fucking her ex boyfriend almost immediately after aborting my child.
Then the massive black man I’d seen at the bar walked into the rest room.
“You okay buddy?” he said
“Er…yeah man…I just need some time” I said.
The black man then held his hand out, and grabbed mine and gave it a shake
“Dude, I’m Leon. That bitch in the bar, she carryin’ my baby. I just needed to be sure you gonna act right, and not make a fuss”
I stared at him.
“No hard feelings dude, OK?” Leon said
“Fuck you!” I said. "That's my fiance out there".
Leon then grabbed me and slammed me against the mirror, one of his big paws shoving my face into the glass, the other holding my arm behind my back.
“That’s the wrong attitude, boy” Leon said. “Bitch came to me in tears tellin me she don’t want no weak white child. She took my pole that night, and tol’ me she’s always wanted my kid. She never wanted yours.”
“Next mornin I take her down to the clinic to get her flushed’ Leon said. ‘Bitch was ready to breed that same night. She couldn’t wait to start worshipping my big dick and she’s been greasin my pole ever since. She my bitch now, got that?”
“How’s that make you feel?” Leon growled. “She flushed your kid so she could slurp on my big black pole. “
“You gonna cry, white boy?" Leon asked.
“She done tol’ me you don’t know how to act like a man” Leon said. “Bitch needin a man’s discipline. That big ass need whapping but yo not man enough to take her in hand. Yo too weak boy.”
I was devastated. How could she? How the fuck could she? And how could Leon say such hurtful things? I honestly felt like I’d been castrated. I guess I had, psychologically at least
“Now, you gonna go out there and act all nice and civil or I break your fucking arms” Leon said “You got five minutes to come back out and tell the bitch that you support her choice. If you don’t, I’m coming to find you boy.”
He then strode out of the restroom.
I was terrified, and didn’t know what to do. I certainly didn’t support Olivia's actions, but what could I do? I was in no doubt that Leon would happily beat the shit out of me if I offered any resistance.
When I finally come out of the john, Leon was sat next to Olivia in the seat I had occupied, his large black hand softly stroking her swollen belly. I walked over to the table, aware of Leon’s instructions but just wanting to get the hell back to Philly.
“Er listen Olivia, I just want to tell you how happy I am for you, but I need to leave now,” I said.
‘Sit the fuck down boy!’ Leon said. I obeyed his command.
“Olivia’s been telling me that you support her choice” Leon said. “She said dat you volunteered to help out with da baby. Is dat right boy?
“Er..er” I stuttered
“Ah reckon we could use some childcare after you pop babe” he said to Olivia
“I told you he was a nice guy Leon’ Olivia said, gazing lovingly at him. “He’ll be ideal. Dan’s so supportive. He's got all kinds of baby stuff back in Philly. He's bought clothes, even a cot. He's one of a kind, Leon, he really is.”
"Well aint dat just swell," Leon said.
“You’re so sweet Dan, we could really use some help” Olivia said. "Leon's not going to be around all the time. I'm really grateful that you support my choice. You really are a special man."
“You on for some diaper changin duties then boy?” Leon asked me
“Er.. I guess so” I stuttered.
“Good job, I’ll be in touch after the bitch’s popped” Leon said. “Now fuck off”.
He dismissed me just like that. Stunned, I walked to my car in a daze.
I don’t know how I made it home to Philly, but when I did I poured myself a stiff drink and fired up my computer. On Facebook I had two friend requests, one from Leon and one from Olivia. She had created a new photo album entitled “Heavy with Child”. It contained a series of photos depicting her in sexy, half-naked poses, proudly flaunting her swollen belly.
Sobbing, and staring at the photos, I began to masturbate.
My name’s Dan, and although politically liberal, I’d always been somewhat straight-laced. My ambition had always been to start a ******. I’ve always loved kids and hoped to have three or four. I was sure I’d make a great ***. Between you and me, I also found pregnancy to be extremely sexy. I loved how a woman’s body changes as the baby grows - the swollen breasts, flushed skin and curvy tummy. I even used to watch online porn featuring pregnant women, such was my fetish.
Following my graduation I’d landed a job as a high school teacher in Philly, working in a tough inner city school. The money wasn’t great but I mostly got on well with the kids. Overall, I guess, life was good. I was in my early 20’s and had my whole life ahead of me. All I needed was to meet the right woman.
Before I started seeing Olivia I was active on the Philly dating scene. However, none of the women I dated were interested in starting a ****** – either they already had kids or didn’t want them at all. Although I had plenty of dates, I’d found some of my hookups to be quite overwhelming.
Traditionally, men are supposed to be the sexual aggressors, right? But on more than one occasion it was my date who took the lead, brazenly grabbing my crotch under the table or stripping naked in my apartment without being invited, simply wanting to get down to the sex. I guess some men would enjoy that kind of behavior, but if I’m honest I find sexually aggressive women a turn-off. Call me old fashioned, but I prefer soft kisses, cuddles and romance.
I’d originally dated Olivia when I was a student in Baltimore but we drifted apart before I moved to Philly. She was a beautiful Irish-Italian girl with large breasts, pretty wide eyes and a big ass. Olivia wasn’t outgoing, and had been meek and pretty submissive with me back then. She had told me more than once that she preferred “macho” men and ultimately wanted to be “knocked up” by a “big strong stud” as she put it. While not exactly muscular, I was tall and athletic, and I guess she was implying that I fitted the bill.
Olivia had wanted me to do some pretty extreme things in the sack, like spank her ass and pretend to choke her. I’m not naturally dominant, and didn’t enjoy that at all. I found it hard to enjoy her brand of sex, which was one of the reasons we drifted apart. After we split up, I heard through mutual friends that she’d spent a couple of years running with the wrong crowd, developed a drug problem and had to be bailed out of jail. I felt sorry for her more than anything.
Increasingly, though, after my unsuccessful Philly dates, I found my thoughts drifting back to Olivia, and her confession that she wanted to be made pregnant. So when I heard through mutual friends that she’d landed a job in Philly, I felt my heart leap. I'd be more than happy to give it another shot, I thought. Some friends of her parents had gotten her a receptionist’s job and she was living just five miles from me in Springfield. I’d kept Olivia’s number, and when I asked her for a date she accepted.
We hit it off well. She’d been seeing a guy called Leon in Baltimore, she told me, who was now serving time in Roxbury for drug offenses. She admitted that she’d had a torrid few years, developed a drug habit, and had been beaten by Leon and used by his gang friends. However, she insisted that she'd now turned her life around.
“I’m just glad to be away from all that” Olivia told me on our second date, on the terrace of a swanky riverside hotel. ”I just want to live a normal life and start a ******. Is that too much to ask Dan?” In the moonlight she looked radiant. I decided there and then that I wanted nothing more than for her to be the mother of my kids.
After four months of dating, it seemed crazy paying for two apartments, so I invited Olivia to move in with me. She did, and I was over the moon when she agreed to become my fiancé.
Things weren’t perfect, I admit. Olivia’s sexuality hadn’t changed. She still wanted me to act macho and dominant in the sack, to whap her ass with a belt, pinch her nipples and call her a “whore” and a “bitch” during sex. My heart wasn’t in it, but I what could I do? However, our sexual issues were forgotten one January weekend when Olivia announced she was pregnant. I was ecstatic. It’s no exaggeration to say it was the best day of my life.
“Fantastic news babe!” I said. “Just wow! I love you so much. I’m going to make you so happy, I promise”.
As the weeks went by, however, Olivia seemed moody and distant. She would ignore me, not respond to my questions and spend hours on her tablet. She’d gone off sex completely. I on the other hand, could think of nothing but the baby she was carrying. I bought a stroller, baby clothes, even diapers, and placed a cot in our small storeroom.
Then one day I came home from work and she was gone. Her clothes had gone too. Olivia had simply vanished. I was distraught. Where the fuck did she go, I asked myself? What did I do wrong? Not only did I love her, but she was carrying my baby. Surely that implied that she had some obligations to me. How could she just leave?
I was on the verge of calling the police when I received her text message. “Sorry Dan, I have got a lot of thinking to do, and can’t think straight at your place” it read. “I’m staying with friends for a while, but will be in touch” I wasn’t happy but what choice did I have?
First one week went by, the two, then three, but I heard nothing more from her. I got no response to my increasingly desperate text messages, and when I called her the line was dead. She must have changed her phone number, I surmised. Did she not want to see me at all? I simply couldn't understand. Had she had an abortion without speaking to me first? The thought almost drove me crazy.
Then the weeks became months. First two, then three months passed without me hearing a word from her. I had to take time off work I was so distraught. When I called her parents in Baltimore, they told me that they hadn’t had word from her either, though I didn't believe them.
It was quite by chance that I discovered that Olivia had moved back to Baltimore. She’d deleted me from Facebook but we had a couple of mutual friends including a girl called Maya. It was almost five months after Olivia vanished that I saw a series of photos posted by Maya of her and Olivia in a lounge called Lucky Seven Catonsville, Olivia looking hot and sexy in a tight dress. Gosh, she looked ravishing, I thought. And, I noted excitedly, she was undoubtedly pregnant. Olivia was still carrying my child!
I simply had to see her. The following Saturday I bought a big bunch of flowers and drove down to Baltimore. I checked into a hotel and walked the short distance to her parents' home, hoping they would give me her address. However, it was Olivia herself who answered the door. Her mouth opened wide when she saw me. She was obviously pregnant, and she looked shocked.
“Dan?” she said.
“I’m sorry babe, I really needed to see you” I said.
“These are for you” I said, handing her the flowers. “Please Olly, we need to talk”
“Oh god Dan, I’m sooo sorry" Olivia said. “I really don’t know what to say.”
“I apologize for not being in touch, I’ve just been so confused” Olivia continued. “I guess I’m not in a good place right now”.
“Oh Olly” I said. “You poor thing”.
“I know I’ve treated you badly Dan” Olivia said. “I’m not a good person. You must think I’m awful, and I guess I am. But I guess you deserve an explanation. Listen, can we meet tonight?”
We arranged to meet at 9pm in a local bar. I arrived at 8.30, unable to stay in my hotel room any longer. I’d taken a shower, dressed carefully and applied aftershave. Whatever she’d done, I thought, I was still willing to take her back. I needed another chance. I bought a couple of drinks, grabbed a table and awaited her arrival.
When Olivia walked into the bar she looked beautiful, flushed and sexy. Her pregnancy suited her well, I thought. Her breasts were large, but that evening they looked huge and swollen, with her peg-like, engorged nipples thrusting out through her cotton dress. Could she already be lactating, I wondered?
“Look Olivia, before you speak babe, I just need to tell you something” I said as she sat down. “Listen. You look absolutely beautiful, and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. You look like a real woman.”
“Aww you’re sweet Dan” Olivia said smiling. Her whole face lit up when she smiled. She was the archetypal “sexy mommy” if there ever was one, I thought.
“Just hear me out Olly, and then you can have your say, okay?” I said, pressing my hand against hers and giving it a squeeze.
“Uh…. okay Danny” Olivia said.
“First of all, I promise, I’m not mad with you” I squeezed her hand again. “I’m not angry with you at all, and I never will be”
“You know you have every right to be angry Dan,” Olivia said.
“Olivia, please know that I love you,” I continued. “I always will. Darling, I don’t care about what you’ve been doing in Baltimore, who you’ve been seeing. That’s not important. My main concern is you being happy. If you want me to support you, I will, and if you want me to support the kid, I will. I’ll change diapers, do the childcare, do the school runs, whatever you like. I’ll be here for you. But if you’d rather I stayed out of the way right now, well that’s fine too.”
Olivia just stared at me. She looked radiant.
“I’ll do anything Olly. I just don’t want you to vanish again” I said, trying to hold back tears.
“Oh Dan, you are sweet, you really are,” Olivia said.
“Olivia, listen, I know you had a really tough decision to make” I said. “It must have been hard for you. But you’re an intelligent girl and I’m sure you’ve made the right choice. But baby, please understand, I would have been happy with any choice you made. Even if you’d decided not to go through with the pregnancy, I’d still have stood by you.”
Olivia looked genuinely touched, and squeezed my hand
“Really Dan?” she said
“Yes really,” I said. “A woman should always have the final say when it comes to her own body. That should always be your choice, and no one else's. And no one should judge you because of your decision.”
“I’m so happy you said that Dan,” Olivia said. “I was worried at first, meeting you again, but I’d forgotten how sweet you are.”
“I’ll get more drinks first, then you can tell me what’s been happening these past months.” I said. “If you’ve been doing drugs again, hanging round with the wrong crowd, I won’t get angry, I promise. I’m here to help. I'll stand by you whatever's happened.”
“You’re so kind Dan,” Olivia said. " I don't deserve you"
I walked over to the bar where a big, muscular black man was sat nursing a beer.
“Hot bitch” he said, pointing to Olivia.
I ignored him
“Knocked up bitches, they still love to fuck” he said. "Aint that right".
I was shocked, unsure if I had heard him correctly. Hastily I returned to our table with our drinks.
“Okay honey” I said to Olivia. “I’m ready. Tell me everything. Tell me what’s been happening since you left”
Olivia crossed her sexy legs, took a sip of her drink, and began.
“Firstly, Dan, I like you a lot and I know you care absolutely tons for me too” she said. “I know you’re a kind, loving man and I appreciate all you have done for me. I’ve done some stupid things in my life but you’ve always been like a rock for me. You couldn’t have done more”
“Thanks babe” I said. “I do care, believe me.”
“Dan, I was really confused when I got pregnant,” Olivia said. “You know I really wanted a baby. I liked you a lot, really cared for you, but bearing your child, well that’s a different kind of commitment isn’t it?”
“Sure” I said. “It’s something else entirely. You're right there.”
”So I needed some time to think. You know, away from you” Olivia said. “I had a huge life choice to make”
“I understand babe” I said, placing my hand back on hers. “And I know you've made the right choice. I'm sure of it Olly. I couldn't be any more sure”
A long silence followed.
“So what happened when you left Philly?” I prompted
More silence followed. It was like Olivia was at a loss for words.
“Dan, do you remember Leon?” Olivia finally said
Did I remember Leon? Of course I did. He was Olivia’s mean ex boyfriend who was serving a five stretch in Roxbury the last I heard. I’d never met him, but according to the stories I’d heard from Olivia, he was a bully, a womanizer and a drug dealer.
“Er…yes, I remember you telling me about him” I said. "What about him?"
“Well, I didn’t tell you this, but he was released from prison around the time I got pregnant” Olivia said. “He’d been texting me asking to meet up. I was confused and vulnerable, and thought it would be good to open my heart to someone. Leon has anger management issues but he’s always been a friend to me. He offered to listen to me when I told him that I was having misgivings about the pregnancy.”
“Uh…what kind of misgivings?” I said. “In what way?”
“Well, I just wasn’t sure if you and I were right for each other,” Olivia said. “I knew about your weak genes and your lack of aggression, and I wasn’t sure that I wanted your baby.”
Previously, I recalled, I’d told Olivia about the cystic fibrosis gene that ran in our ******. I’d been tested for it and showed no signs of having the flaw, but the test wasn’t a hundred percent accurate. But I never thought that was an issue
“I’ve always been attracted to bad boys,” Olivia continued.”You know, strong, dominant men. It’s stupid, it’s self-destructive, but it’s also part of who I am. I can’t deny it Dan.”
What was she implying? That she didn’t think I was a strong man? I bit my lip, and reminded myself to let her speak.
“Leon told me that sometimes you need to listen to your inner feelings, listen to the instinctive voice in your head, because it’s usually the right one,” Olivia continued. “He told me that if having your baby didn’t feel right, then I shouldn’t see it through.”
I was genuinely confused. “So if that's what you thought, why did you choose to keep our baby?”
“OK Darren, I’m going to be completely honest with you now” Olivia said. “Remember, you said you'd support my choice and I respect you for that.”
I just sat there, staring at her, still confused.
“Well I ended up having sex with Leon that night, and the next morning we went to the clinic and had the baby terminated’ Olivia said.
I couldn’t speak. I was simply stunned. Had I heard her correctly?
But…but.... you can’t have. You’re still pregnant,” I finally stuttered
“Leon had been in jail for over three years” Olivia said. ‘That’s three years without a woman Dan. He said that he needed sex, either with me or someone else. And he offered to breed me if I got rid of your child.”
I stared at her.
“You know, make me pregnant again” Olivia said.
“Whaaat?" I said. "How? So….I don’t understand babe”
“Dan, you need to understand. I’m carrying Leon’s child, not yours,” Olivia said
I just stared at her open mouthed, making gulping sounds. How could it be possible?
“A woman can get pregnant within two weeks of a termination Dan, and that’s what happened with me” Olivia said. “It all depends on when you start ovulating again. It’s funny, I started ovulating the day after the termination, so Leon bred me through my fertile period and I missed my next cycle.”
Stunned, I simply stood up and without saying a word walked to the men’s restroom. Then I vomited in the sink. The fucking bitch….the fucking whore… How could she? I stared at my face in the mirror and splashed cold water in my face. How the FUCK could she?? How could the bitch coldly terminate my child, and then…and then…? She must be at least five months pregnant now, I guessed. The whore must have been fucking her ex boyfriend almost immediately after aborting my child.
Then the massive black man I’d seen at the bar walked into the rest room.
“You okay buddy?” he said
“Er…yeah man…I just need some time” I said.
The black man then held his hand out, and grabbed mine and gave it a shake
“Dude, I’m Leon. That bitch in the bar, she carryin’ my baby. I just needed to be sure you gonna act right, and not make a fuss”
I stared at him.
“No hard feelings dude, OK?” Leon said
“Fuck you!” I said. "That's my fiance out there".
Leon then grabbed me and slammed me against the mirror, one of his big paws shoving my face into the glass, the other holding my arm behind my back.
“That’s the wrong attitude, boy” Leon said. “Bitch came to me in tears tellin me she don’t want no weak white child. She took my pole that night, and tol’ me she’s always wanted my kid. She never wanted yours.”
“Next mornin I take her down to the clinic to get her flushed’ Leon said. ‘Bitch was ready to breed that same night. She couldn’t wait to start worshipping my big dick and she’s been greasin my pole ever since. She my bitch now, got that?”
“How’s that make you feel?” Leon growled. “She flushed your kid so she could slurp on my big black pole. “
“You gonna cry, white boy?" Leon asked.
“She done tol’ me you don’t know how to act like a man” Leon said. “Bitch needin a man’s discipline. That big ass need whapping but yo not man enough to take her in hand. Yo too weak boy.”
I was devastated. How could she? How the fuck could she? And how could Leon say such hurtful things? I honestly felt like I’d been castrated. I guess I had, psychologically at least
“Now, you gonna go out there and act all nice and civil or I break your fucking arms” Leon said “You got five minutes to come back out and tell the bitch that you support her choice. If you don’t, I’m coming to find you boy.”
He then strode out of the restroom.
I was terrified, and didn’t know what to do. I certainly didn’t support Olivia's actions, but what could I do? I was in no doubt that Leon would happily beat the shit out of me if I offered any resistance.
When I finally come out of the john, Leon was sat next to Olivia in the seat I had occupied, his large black hand softly stroking her swollen belly. I walked over to the table, aware of Leon’s instructions but just wanting to get the hell back to Philly.
“Er listen Olivia, I just want to tell you how happy I am for you, but I need to leave now,” I said.
‘Sit the fuck down boy!’ Leon said. I obeyed his command.
“Olivia’s been telling me that you support her choice” Leon said. “She said dat you volunteered to help out with da baby. Is dat right boy?
“Er..er” I stuttered
“Ah reckon we could use some childcare after you pop babe” he said to Olivia
“I told you he was a nice guy Leon’ Olivia said, gazing lovingly at him. “He’ll be ideal. Dan’s so supportive. He's got all kinds of baby stuff back in Philly. He's bought clothes, even a cot. He's one of a kind, Leon, he really is.”
"Well aint dat just swell," Leon said.
“You’re so sweet Dan, we could really use some help” Olivia said. "Leon's not going to be around all the time. I'm really grateful that you support my choice. You really are a special man."
“You on for some diaper changin duties then boy?” Leon asked me
“Er.. I guess so” I stuttered.
“Good job, I’ll be in touch after the bitch’s popped” Leon said. “Now fuck off”.
He dismissed me just like that. Stunned, I walked to my car in a daze.
I don’t know how I made it home to Philly, but when I did I poured myself a stiff drink and fired up my computer. On Facebook I had two friend requests, one from Leon and one from Olivia. She had created a new photo album entitled “Heavy with Child”. It contained a series of photos depicting her in sexy, half-naked poses, proudly flaunting her swollen belly.
Sobbing, and staring at the photos, I began to masturbate.
