She broke the silence as they sped northward on Pacific Coast Highway away from the Palos Verdes Peninusla and the police.
“That was a close one.”
“Fuck yeah it was close. What’s wrong with that guy?”
“Don’t you mean, what’s not wrong with him?”
“Well you could put it that way. Acts like he owns you or something.”
“Thinks he does.”
“He one of the white guys whose dick you sucked?”
“Yeah. ‘fraid so. He really took it personal, didn’t he?”
“Well yeah. I don’t think I’m going back to PV any time soon.”
“Probably not a great idea. And here I had such great plans for us.”
“Plans?”
“Yeah. A couple of people I know have parties on their boat. Cruise around the peninsula and people just kick back and relax.”
“A little cool for that this time of year isn’t it?”
“Well maybe so, but most action goes on below decks.”
“Just how big is this boat?”
“I was afraid you were going to ask.”
“You don’t know?”
“I have no idea other than it’s a big boat with a professional captain and an above deck and a below deck.”
“Women never know that kind of stuff.”
“I don’t need to know that kind of stuff. I have something you want. If you want to know about the length and the engine and that stuff, ask the captain. Mostly there are rooms below deck.”
“Rooms?”
“Yeah. Staterooms they’re called. Not big, but big enough. Also a galley. A nice galley with lots of room. In the summer it’s really nice in the warmer weather. Clothing optional.”
“Clothing optional?”
“Yeah. If you think you could handle that?”
“I think I could handle it.”
“I’m sure you can. I’m just not sure about some of the white guys being able to handle it.”
He laughed.
“Then there’s another party. Once a month. It’s on the other side of the hill. The San Pedro side.”
“Really? What’s so special about that?”
“It’s a big house with a wonderful ocean view and you can see Catalina Island, to the South.”
“Wow. Sounds great.”
“It is great. But, it’s invitation only.”
“I have to be invited?”
“Not you, but I do.”
“How tough is that?”
“Not tough. But there’s another thing, another idea I had.”
“Christmas is coming. Shouldn’t we do something special for Christmas?”
“What did you have in mind?”
“I thought I might invite you home to have Christmas dinner with my ******.”
“Your white ******?”
“Well yeah. In case you hadn’t noticed, I’m white and I have white parents and friends. Is that a problem?”
“No. Not really.”
“How about going to my church? You know, the one I attended all my life?”
“Instead of going to your ******’s for Christmas dinner?”
“Well we could do both.”
“Are you really up that? I mean showing up with a black boy friend?”
“Is that what you are? My black boyfriend?”
“Well what would I be?”
“Well you’re my black classmate in Black Studies and I’m introducing you to suburban white ****** life.”
“How will they react to all that?”
“I don’t know. That’s what I want to see. Aren’t you curious?”
Of course he wasn’t curious at all. He just wanted to fuck her, not meet her ****** and certainly not go to their church.
“I think it would be wonderful,” he lied. “It would be great to meet your ******.”
There was an awkward silence between them.
“Can I ask you something?”
She smiled. “Of course. Of course you can.” She’d seen it coming. Now was the part where he asked why she was doing this, inviting him to church and to her ******.
“Just wondering...” His voice trailed off.
“Yes? Wondering what?”
“Wondering what’s the purpose of this. I mean bringing me to your ****** for Christmas. Isn’t that going to upset them? I mean, you said they were kind of ....kind of not very welcoming to black people.”
“Especially not welcoming to a black guy who may be fucking me.”
“Then why? Why do it?”
“Why not? What’s the matter? You don’t want to meet my ******?”
“I don’t want to mess up your Christmas.”
“You won’t. You won’t mess up anything for me.”
“What about your ******? Won’t they wonder about us?”
“You mean will they wonder if you’re fucking me?”
“Well...” he spoke haltingly. “Yes. Since you put it that way.”
“What way should I put it?”
“Well...I....”
“You what? Are you afraid for my parents to know I’m dating a cool black guy with a big dick?”
“How will they know that?”
“They’ll know. Believe me, they’ll know.”
“I just don’t want people to feel uncomfortable.”
She laughed.
“Please.”
“What? What do you mean?”
“I’m several months into ‘Black studies’ and you’re giving me this shit? You don’t want to make my ****** feel uncomfortable?”
“Well....”
“Well...the whole point of your movement is to make white people feel uncomfortable. To make white men feel uncomfortable because of the way white girls react to you? Isn’t that what you believe in? ‘BDP’?”
“BDP? What’s that?”
“Black Dick Privilege.”
He laughed
“You know the idea that the black penis is a symbol and an instrument of power? You know about that?”
“Where did you get that? They didn’t talk about that in class.”
“No. I made it up.”
He laughed.
“Why?”
“Why? I like the idea. I like the concept. BDP. I thought it through during the semester. You know. Kind of an undercurrent of the class. A great title for a research paper or an essay or something. You know, “Does BDP Really Exist? And there was something else.”
“What else?”
“That white girl sucking that black guy’s dick right out in public. I saw the video. Talk about BDP. That guy sure had it.”
“That’s pretty far out there.”
“Well no it’s not. I just have been testing it out. You know us going together to a black church and a white church and you meeting one of the white guys I knew. Who came out on top?”
“Well I did.”
“Yeah. You did. Kicked his ass.”
“I really didn’t do that.”
She shrugged.
“Close enough. You took him down and made him run away.”
“Yeah. Wasn’t much to him..”
“I want to see how you cross over into the white world and how you react to the way they react to you.”
“So I’m like a lab experiment to you?”
“Something like that.”
“What do I get out of it? What do I get out of being paraded around like a trophy?”
“Is that what you are? A trophy?”
“Sounds like you think so.”
She paused.
“Yeah. Maybe so. Maybe I do. I like being with you. I like us being together outside of school. I don’t like the whole class thing.”
“What do you mean? Why not?”
“Well we walk back in and everyone thinks you’re fucking me or something.”
“No one’s said that.”
“They think it. Don’t bullshit me. You know they are. I can forgive anything but bullshitting.”
“OK. Ok. Yeah. Some are thinking that. Some of the dudes.”
“Yeah. Some of the black girls too. I’ve gotten the look from them. Very jealous.”
“They have no claim on me.”
“Yes they do have a claim. You’re black. In their mind that’s enough.”
“It means nothing.”
“It means something too them.”
“I’m my own man. I do what I want.”
“So far you do. You stood up to that white dork, that’s for sure.”
“So what else are you doing for Christmas.”
“My ****** was expecting me.”
“Tell them you accepted an invitation from someone at school.”
“What if my mother doesn’t accept it? I’ve always been home with my ****** for Christmas.”
She shrugged.
“So what’s the big deal about doing something different?”
“They just won’t like it, that’s all.”
“They? Who are they?”
“My sister. My mom. Other ******.”
“So are they going to spank you or something?”
“No it’s just the idea of disappointing them.”
“How about the idea of disappointing me?”
“That’s not the same?”
“Well no it’s certainly not.”
“How about after Christmas?”
“After Christmas?”
“Yeah. After Christmas. What’s wrong with that?”
“It’s too late then.”
“Too late? Too late for what?”
“Too late for a White Christmas.”
“A white Christmas? It doesn’t snow down here.”
“No. But maybe I should have put it differently.”
“Differently?”
“Yeah. Not a White Christmas. Instead, a White Pussy Christmas.”
“A White Pussy Christmas?”
“Yeah. I think you get the idea.”
He laughed. “Wow. You don’t beat around the bush do you?”
“Would you prefer that I did?”
He shook his head.
“I don’t know.”
“You ‘don’t know’? You don’t know?”
“Hey baby. Take it easy.”
“Look. You want pussy but you want me to accommodate you and your ******. You’ve got it all backwards.”
“Backwards?”
“Yeah. Backwards. You’ve been reading too much of that Black Supremacy shit. Look. You want white pussy...you have to accommodate me. You have dinner with my white ******. That’s the price of getting some pussy. You do what I ask. Am I clear?”
“Since you put it like that.”
“I do put it like that.”
“What about my mother? My ******?”
“What about them?”
“What do I tell them?”
“Tell them you’re getting some white pussy and you have to meet the ******.”
“I can’t tell my mother that.”
“Why not? Why not? You think you’re mother can’t handle her son fucking a white girl?”
“I’ve always been with my mom and ****** at Christmas.”
“Well this year you won’t. Is this so hard?”
“When do you have to know?”
“How about now? How about right fucking now? How about you get your priorities straightened out? How about that? If you can’t handle this, just say so now. There are other dudes in that class who can handle it if you can’t.”
“No. I can handle it. I can handle it. I’ll be at your ******’s for Christmas day.”
“Wear a jacket and a tie.”
“Why? Will they be dressed that way?”
“Probably not.”
“Then why....”
“Because I like it. Because I want you to look like a professional man instead of some horny college jerk with his head up his ass. Look. My ****** will know you want to fuck me, OK?”
“Yeah. If you say so.”
“If I say so? What reality do you live in? All parents think that. Especially white parents of a white girl who shows up with a black boy friend.”
“I suppose.”
“If you’re better dressed and you’re more professional, you’ll have the moral high ground. They’ll be intimidated. That’s got to appeal to you. Intimidating white people who don’t like blacks in their neighborhoods or in their schools...or in their church either, for that matter. Intimidating a white ****** knowing you’re going to fuck their white ********. At some level that’s got to appeal to you.”
“It does. It does appeal to me. But...”
“But what?”
“Am I going to get to fuck their white ********?”
“That’s the whole point. If you really fuck me, they’ll know. They’ll just know. They’ll just sit there and pretend that everything is normal. And it’s not normal. Their world, their pathetic world of pretending and lying and bullshitting....it’s all going to shatter like a pane of glass.”
“You really mean it, don’t you?”
“Yes. I do. And the next day we go to church. You go to church with me and my ******.”
“Where do we stay the night?”
“We stay at a hotel nearby.”
“A hotel?”
“Well yes. A hotel. We stay at a hotel and the next morning we go to church where my ****** is. We’ll meet them there, actually.”
“Whoa!”
“Yeah. Whoa. Only we don’t tell them. We just leave after Christmas dinner the day before. And we check in to the hotel and the next morning we show up at church. A nice surprise.”
“What will you tell them?”
“I’ll tell them we wanted to surprise them. Of course they’ll know we spent the night together. The whole place will know that. That we spent the night together.”
“Wow. That’s amazing.”
“Yes. I think it will be. I think lots of people will be amazed. Only one favor.”
“What’s that?”
“Don’t tell anyone at school. I don’t want those people knowing anything. Not that ass hole Professor Brown or any of the rest of them.”
“Sure Baby. Sure.”
“They’ll figure it out soon enough that you’re fucking me. Agreed?”
“Yes. They will.”
“Christmas is next week. I’m skipping the next class session.”
“Why?”
“Just because. There’s one more thing.”
“What’s that?”
“I’m renting a car. A special car for us to go up there.”
“What car?”
“A Corvette?”
“A Corvette? Why a Corvette?”
“You have a problem with driving a Corvette?”
“No baby. No problem.”
“I think you do have a problem and we need to get something clear between us.”
“Sure.”
“You’ve got to stop thinking like one of those aggrieved blacks always bitching and moaning about racism and oppression and start acting like a real player instead of a victim. A player who’s confident of his right to be there, to stand up in public with a white girl in front of the white girl’s ****** and church and drive a cool car. You showing up in a suit and a tie in a Corvette with me....”
She shook her head.
“That will knock the shit out of them. When they see all that, they’ll know you’re fucking me. They’ll know you showing up like that is a big fat fuck you to them....to all of them. And they’ll just sit there and take it and say nothing.”
“Wow!”
“That’s if you can handle it?”
“I can handle it.”
“I think you can too. We’ll talk before we meet and drive up to my parents’ place. OK?”
“OK baby.”
