: An excellent, well written story with interesting characters and development. Time spent to develop the story is nice making it feel more real. The sex is well done and interesting which is a real pleasure to read.
: Many threads /characters to follow which can be hard sometimes both for the reader (and writer) to keep control of. I would suggest avoiding adding too many new characters but work on those already introduced or mentioned.
All in all an excellent contribution to the genre and promises much to come from this writer. I look forward to seeing it develop.